Black or dark haired caucasian girls or young women. A study and gross generalization. If left unattended may develop a taste for the more morbid things in life. You know, graveyard stuff. Generally introverted. Not very outspoken but quiet and observing. … the end. A type I feel a strong affinity to. Maybe because I got a blonde soul. If opposites really do attract and not the other way round that is. Had to laugh today buying lemons. Watching the girl at the register grow really self conscious when she set eyes on me. Maybe she fancied the Asian type, I don’t know. But I noticed her head working and the atmosphere thicken. Luckily I’m not a teenager anymore and learned how to mirror and caricature most vibes sent out. Like: “Yea, I know I’m like the coolest dude you ever saw, right? Right! Am I right? Look I’m buying organic lemons and pay in cents cause it breaks my bank.” Kinda helps take the edge off awkward situations. Otherwise I’m met and expect general dislike of my personality. Because I dislike most people. My expectations are just too high. I get deceived by looks. People who look alright turn out to be horrifyingly shallow. Starting with my parents. I raised myself by unlearning everything and building myself from scratch. Yet let my parents take the credit when I seem to others that I turned out alright. Cause of financial reasons and shit. Still, ah whatever.
Then there is that type of women who have, without doubt, a history of incest running in their family. Especially in the German clan of the Teichmanns. I met two of them in my lifetime and both are really annoying to the point of enraging. People who are like nails to the board and absolute leeches, feeding off any and everything to survive. Well, it is either getting enraged by that utter failure of a human being or contemplating sex with hookers. I guess I’ll take the rage. Hey, be careful what you wish for right? Maybe that is the devil, switching gears. I don’t know but I can muse. Yes, definitely. Inferior men, and women, they exist. And are spawn of the devil. Coming to the forefront after attacks with sexy young girls selling their body didn’t work out. Haha. I’m alone tomorrow at work. For our department that is. It will be heaven. I am a psychic sponge and as I mentioned earlier am held back by others. For instance I had those thoughts of “Who am I?” in my head and definitely knew they came from that 19 year old half polish, half Indian girl who has since left the department. It sounds crazy but I know it is the truth. First it almost got me convinced they’re mine but I am too sure of what I do and don’t know, so I dug deeper and found her as a source. That cry for help. Pathetic. Today it was that utter crushing thought of incompetence. That I’ll be found out that I am a fraud and no good at what I do and dont belong. Psychic profiling says: Clan of Teichmanns, nervous energy, looks like, is built and sounds like a weasel. Pathetic and annoying, double combo. Why I am picking up on that kind of vibe? Maybe I was a healer once, but definitely not know. It seems to be a remnant of another life. Only the women too. Maybe explains my overly sexual nature since boyhood. Instead I am left to my own devices. Maybe I need that antenna to pick up counsel of the angels too. Maybe you think I’m mad. Maybe you know that I don’t care. I know who I am from letting the abyss stare back at me, years and years ago and I know I am doing a damn fine job, no matter or because I don’t care what others think and say about me. Maybe, hopefully, tomorrow will be a day to focus on work, focus on customers, focus on the job and not on miserable assholes who I want to know I consider trash of the earth. For being assholes. For talking like assholes. For looking like assholes. For sending asshole vibes. For trying to make everyone around them an asshole. What one does for getting paid huh? Gotta eat. Gotta deal with that transmutation of creative energy: By plunging into a shithole of emotions. Alright. At least I don’t have to fight a boner. Haha